Saturday, October 11, 2008
Will my dreams come true?
I came across a letter ytd. Inside, was a card, an apology card. It was suppose to be sent out last year? Ya. Ard mid june. I opened the card and lots of thoughts ran through my mind. So, the card was obviously written by me and the purpose was to apologise. Why? Because during that period of time, my clique and I, we had some conflicts. We were at the verge of losing our friendship. The card was written, in hope to salvage everything. However, for some reasons, the card was not sent out and that cost our friendship. In fact, even if i did send the card, we are still hopeless. Not because we dislike each other, but the pace of our lives had changed. They prefer to explore more fun and get to know more pple instead of sticking on with one grp of pple only. This may not be the fact but this is wad I think. I may be wrg. Whereas, for me, I am satisfied with all my friends and not willing to know more pple.
Every time when they bring new pple along for our outings, that sense of uneasy will come along. I hate that feeling. I do not know how will pple look at me. There was this once, they brought this two guys they just got to know to one of our outings. Well, i thought, maybe I shld just accept them and know them. Initially, I felt weird. As it goes along, I feel even more weird. The way they talk to me and the way they talk to my frens, trust me, totally different.The way they talk was lyk full of insults? WHY? BECAUSE I AM FKING FAT AND FUGLY BUT MY FRENS ARE NOT. I told my fren abt it. Guess wad I was told? " They are just jking la". Oh, so you could actually be jked at by someone you meet for the first time. What's more? Your fren also actually thinks that the insults are jks and laugh along with it. Yea, you are the big jk of the day man. Imagine that pain that I went through. They even expect me to really take it as a joke. How am I suppose to? You are not the one they insulted. Do you even understand that feeling?
Never mind, it has all passed already. I think I am leading a better life now. I love all my frens a lot. I am satisfied already.
Bye.
